I do not know how to clearly relate to you my most recent
experiences…with this whole ordeal. My body’s response to the
combination of chemo, Ukrain, and Real Life is profound. There is a
treatment of some kind every day. Three days a weeks I have Ukrain,
where the procedure is what takes my energy, for the after effects
are minimal, except for crushing fatigue. Chemo, on the other hand,
takes only an hour or so, and I leave feeling the same as when I
arrived. It is only after a few hours that my body starts to “get”
that something has happened to it. And, my o my, what a something
I will be far more articulate in explaining it all, once I get my sea
legs. For now, I would like to send a message to those people who
supported me with emails, donations and ebay bids. I would also like
to thank all those that organized events in my honour, and continue
to do so.
I am in the midst of intense treatment. I’m afraid there is very
little more that I can do besides get up in the morning and get to
another doctor’s appointment, and subsequent treatment….and then
get home to bed. Please excuse me for not being able to attend some
of the events, for not answering my telephone, my emails, and for
being generally unreachable and unresponsive.
I kind of hate the way I feel right now. Puffy and swollen, I think
my skin shines a bit greenish these days. It’s as if I’m Superwoman
and someone’s trying to kill me with Kryptonite. Something is
definitely zapping my strength. Something that feels like nothing
else I’ve ever known before. Something from outer space. Something
that fell to earth, perhaps. Whatever it may be, I intend to fight
back. I intend to smash it out of my way in one last superhuman
attempt to rise above. Rest assured. I am going to win this
battle. I am going to survive this latest challenge.
Make no mistake. I will survive because of you. You have given me
the healing power of Love, and it is the greatest weapon of all.
Healing lives in this Love you have given to me, and it allows me the
power of Transformation. It has made me stronger than I’ve ever been
before. Strong enough to withstand the fear, the pain, the tears.
Strong enough to become someone I thought I could never be. My
gratitude is forever.
I promise to keep you abreast.
See? I haven’t lost my sense of humour!! Even with thinning hair
and a puffy, green face, I can STILL be funny! Cancer, schmancer.
Let’s have some fun! Promise me. From now on…no feeling sorry for
one’s self…no “poor me”…and definitely no “poor Babz”. I just
won’t have it. My life is abundant. I am the luckiest person in the
world! That is because of you. Thank you. So very much. You fill
me up. I could not be happier, and I will never stop telling you that.
Love. Babz Chula